这就是爱吗？

This song is for a particular person. I got it from yahoo.hk. I really hope she will have a clearer idea of the road ahead from the lyrics of this song.

這就是愛嗎
歌手：容祖兒
作曲：林俊傑
填詞：林秋離, 王雅君
編曲：蔡政勳, 陳建瑋


你確定這就是愛嗎
真的愛我嗎
手牽著手漫步斜陽
就當作浪漫
兩個人眺望遠方
以爲愛的晴朗
當我回頭望
卻 已淚濕了眼眶

當夕陽變成星光
當愛情換了方向
你一如過往 對愛太緊張
但未來又會怎樣
未知的明天總讓我徬徨
誰給我力量

我不怕你 愛不愛我
只害怕你 以為愛我
抓緊我 不算擁有
你總學不會放手

我不怕你 不懂愛我
只怕你 把習慣 當作愛
你猜不透
我要什麼
喔 你猜不透 我要什麼

D & D

The D & D for this year would be held on this sat, and before yesterday, the thought of going for this D & D fills me with excitement & anticipation. Especially so when there are so many of my colleagues going, and that i missed out on the last year one. I havent decided whether i want to buy any new clothes for it, the pants that i like is $103, and that the shirt is $69. A bit ex i feel, but i think i would look nice in it.

But what happened yesterday sort of spoiled my mood. I had a row with my table i/c over nothing, and i had voiced out whatever i shouldnt have said (i dont know if he heard it). What i had said is true, but certain things are better left unsaid, which is why i feel quite apologetic about revealing them.

I was more concerned about this 2nd thing though. Another person who is in the same table sms me this conclusion to whatever happened between me & her, "...cheat my feelings. Dun frd alr.Bye" I dont know if she was joking or what... I really hope she is...

Wedding invitation....

No, its not me getting married. 'Cheekbone' is. 2 days later. First time i received a wedding invitation via email. Really very happy for her that she has found that special person to be with for the rest of her life.
Just saw on 'strawberry's' blog that she has gotten married last week. What's quite surprising to me was that she didnt invite me to her wedding. And i thought that we were quite close during uni days. And i thought that i knew her boyfriend (now husband), and that we had went out many times together, and we met up like 3 months back..2 ex-colleagues of mine who had posted out from my work-place will be getting married (separately) in the next couple of weeks and they had invitated quite a lot of my colleagues here..but not me... WHY? Is it that they dont like me, or that they think i wouldnt go, or .....they had forgotten the existence on me....

I cant think of an appropriate title..

I made someone angry last night. A comment which made her feel hurt and upset that she felt like crying. I really dont know how i have this "ability" to hurt someone so badly with just a sentence. Luckily she is magnaminous to forgive me after i apologise, otherwise the friendship would be gone. Was thinking...if i know how to irritate people with just one sentence, why dont i know how to make people happy in just one sentence....

H1N1...

I had a high fever last week saturday night, fluctuating between 38.2 and 38.8 degrees. So i went to see the MO, got 7 days MC. And by the next morning, it jumped to 39.5. I had never experienced such a high temperature before, and the symptoms really seems like H1N1. My joints are in pain, i have a cough, and i had been in contact with a few fever patients the past few days. I sms 'cheekbone' asking her to help me find out the guidelines what i should do if the fever persists. I guess hearing her words of encouragement and her sweet voice made me feel much better. And by the next day, my fever is gone. But i am still feeling very weak and drowsy. Luckily I still have 5 more days of MC, so can have a good rest before going back to work.

I really thought that there's still a lot of things for me to do, for me to experience, for me to discover. The past no longer seems important, those wrong things that i had done before seems so minor and insignificant. From then on, i realised that once i recover, i am going to do all the things which in the past i had dwelled too long on, and did not have the courage to even try. Basically, i am going to live my life again.

Thanks to H1N1 and the high fever for bring me to my senses..CHEERS!

我的主题曲

我真的很喜欢看超级星光大道，因为觉得这节目最大的感动度是它的人性化和制作组的用心。它不会去太在意收视率如何，它也不需要观众帖钱进去维持参赛选手的进展，搞到好像被淘汰的不是因为他们表演得不够好，而是因为支持他们的粉丝扔的钱不够多。超级星光大道的选手们，如林宥嘉，梁文音，赖铭伟，徐佳莹，方宥心，张心杰，都能看到他们的蜕变和成长，他们付出的努力和心酸，他们的不锲和对音乐的执著，我想是该节目最大的卖点。　

星光5里有个两个单元让我很感动，就是要指定参赛选手唱他们的主题曲，和他们想对某某人说的话。有些的故事很感人。 如果是我，我选的会根徐泳琳的一样，就是一首很sad的歌：莫文蔚的‘爱’。就是觉得每句歌词，esp chorus 那部分很贴近我的感触和心情。。。因为我会想起你，我害怕面对自己，我的意志总被寂寞吞食，因为你总会提醒，过去总不会过去，有种真爱不是我的。。。假如我不曾爱你，我不会失去自己，想念的刺，钉住我的位置，因为你总会提醒，尽管我得到世界，有些幸福不是我的。。。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

The difficulty of meeting-up

I received an unexpected call from 'strawberry' a few days back. And she proposed a meet-up the next day which i am also free. Its like so long that we havent meet up, & just all of a sudden we are going to meet the following day. The feeling is quite surreal..I had been visiting her blog ever since we left school and i thought she wanted to meet me to pass me her wedding invitation card. But she didnt. Nevertheless we had a good chat and i am looking forward to meeting her again.

Compared that with someone who has been asking me when i am free & after i told him my off days, he said would get back to me. But he NEVER. Sometimes i am wondering if he's real busy or that the sms is just a way of keeping in contact without any real aim or meaning. I should add that i appreciate him for taking the effort to try to arrange a meet-up though....

I know how hard and difficult it's to arrange a gathering. I asked 'Apple' out on her day off for 2 consecutive weeks and she told me that she's feeling too tired to go cycling. This I can understand. But this doesnt reduce any of my disappointment...

The 3 friends above whom i have mentioned, i really thought we got along very well, especially during various stages of my life. Hence i really cherish a lot of our friendship. But somehow, it seems that its possible that friendship can end peacefully...Something which i dont want to see, but i have no idea how to sustain the friendship...