For the past dont know how many birthdays, as far as i can remember, i had (in past tense) always been making intangible and vague wishes, which till now, i dont know if they came through or not. But i am very sure of something, my only clear & obvious wish in 2006 doesnt come true...And i guess..the way i did / didnt do certain things in the build-up, that wish was doomed at the start. So i shall state clearly some of my wishes..hopefully (no..i shall make it happen) they will come true by the next Dec.
1- A new pair of spectacles. I want the one which is similar to what my colleague has...plastic frame...and in red...He said the frame is widly available and is cheaper than the other non-plastic ones...But i wasnt that keen on window-shopping in spectacle shops in the first place...Never mind... i shall do it...
2 - A mahjong card set. My dad and my relatives had in the past said that the way i played is kinda predictable and that i always throw the wrong tiles.. so i would like to have one to hone my skills....No tiles set please, its too noisy....
3 - A sony ericsson handsfree earpiece. Mine was spoilt for like more than 2 months, and i was quite surprised that one from the flagship shop cost about $20 plus...Couldnt find it at those pasa malam stalls though...
Some intangible wishes
1 - The same for all the previous years, I want to be happy. But somehow i dont know exactly what makes me happy...i only know what makes me unhappy...but putting a 'dont' in front on that wish seems wierd...
2 - I want my career to be smooth sailing. And i mean...my present job...
3 - I wish for my parent's health, and by treating them well and giving them less to worry about... i guess it helps...
4 - I wish to have a solution to this problem...i wrote in my diary..."我还是无法把过去美好的回忆当成是种记念，而是一再地寻找当时的憧憬，当时的感觉，当时的点点滴滴。。。。如果我真的能做到能拿得起，放得下。。。我相信自己会活得快乐些，忧郁也会少一些，遗憾也会少一些， 痛苦会少很多。。。我也能够重新接受自己，勇敢地去寻求想要的未来，想要的世界，想要的一切“
5 - I want to fulfill that unfulfilled wish that i made in 2006....that 'person' would surely be different (because if it does, it would contradict the above wish no.4)..and in the process of doing so... i shall play a more active role...be a more natural guy...and overcome my resistance and shyness and fear of doing certain things.... I know that its not as difficult as i thought it would be...and as long as i dont think too much and procrastinate and complicate things...the chances of this wish coming true is very high....
Friday, December 5, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Taipei Vacation....Getting there & Coming back....
6D5N trip. First-time going there after watching so much of it on TV. The plane ride was quite good and comfortable (except for the lack of free food & drinks & blankets & music / TV player ) Its seems much better than those normal airlines. Maybe the 'budget' is in terms of something else....Not only me, but other travellers also complained about the antics that were being displayed onboard...those who blasts loud music over thir laptop / MP3, the constant 4hr40mins chatting by 2 elderly non-stop, the unwillingness to switch off their handphones & to buckle up their seatbelt (one even seems to be pretending to fall asleep when approached by the stewardess), and this one takes the cake...one page of the in-flight magazine was missing (the one detailing all the flights informations)...However, the service is great. The stewardess are very polite & courteous (the ground staffs too), the food is great (according to my mum), the safety instructions are clear & every information communicated to us are in english and mandarin (even the pilot's speech), the leg room is okay...oh yah..i quite like their uniform...orange and black...
In front of my seat are 2 girls whom at first i thought are Taiwanese. Their dressing is fashionable & they look pretty (they are pretty, just that they also know how to dress well too)..One of them, head tilted, resembles the 杨怡, the 杨怡in 学警雄心....And guess what, we are taking the same airport transfer, staying in the same hotel & will be going for the same tour the next day. Sounds good?
In front of my seat are 2 girls whom at first i thought are Taiwanese. Their dressing is fashionable & they look pretty (they are pretty, just that they also know how to dress well too)..One of them, head tilted, resembles the 杨怡, the 杨怡in 学警雄心....And guess what, we are taking the same airport transfer, staying in the same hotel & will be going for the same tour the next day. Sounds good?
Saturday, November 8, 2008
40 mins more....Bye Bye Changi....
40 mins more and I would be on the plane...yeah...quite a great feeling to be at one of my favorite place in Singapore, and going to another favorite destination.... Hope the journey is good (I have never taken budget airline before)...Anyone wants anything from there (i dont know if anyone knows exactly where i am going to as i didnt mention it), feel free to sms me....(but reply not guranteed...haha)....Bye Bye...
Friday, November 7, 2008
The evolving sense of 'reality'....
Certain things, i really dont know how to explain. Thought that its just me who's like that, but...
Where do i start??? U know for me especially, there are some people whom i can talk very freely with over the phone, and even if the topics get bored, there is no inclination to put down the phone.. but when i meet these people face to face, there's nothing much (interesting) to say. And on those rare occasionals when i get into msn, i could chat easily with people whom i most probably wouldnt even recognise them on the streets. It just seems that both of us can be "good friends" over the phone, but in reality, we just seems to be drifting very far apart. Sort of a double-life. Or a "地下情" that everything has to be done hush hush...or a 见不得光thing...or that one (or perhaps both) are ashamed or startled that we could / had been so close to each other... i really dont know why i get this kind of feeling...and it gets magnified when it comes to the opposite sex... I guess these type of atmosphere is created mutually...
One more day to go & I would be on the plane...And coincidentally (maybe not so)...she (this word is a noun, and whether its specific, its ..) is also flying off on that day. Yah...the 'she' is the topic of discussion in the earlier paragraph. Same airline, different timing, different destination.... I checked my hotel location and its 10 mins away from the MRT station (the travel agent recommend it, says its 5 mins, and thats why i choose this)..and the online reviews arent exactly good...Most Singaporeans criticize it, but others are okay with it....(actually i think criticism doesnt mean its bad...tonnes and tonnes of people criticize the packness of our MRT train, but i am quite okay with it...Not many people criticize the fact that people ALWAYS rushes in before commuters exit from the train ( this seems more rampant than our packed trains)..and this is one big gross why i sometimes refuses to take the train...So what is reality? Its just merely our interpretation of facts....
**Just thinking, would / does anyone know or can anyone guess who the 'she' i am referring to....oops...did i mention it in my previous blogs before???...
Where do i start??? U know for me especially, there are some people whom i can talk very freely with over the phone, and even if the topics get bored, there is no inclination to put down the phone.. but when i meet these people face to face, there's nothing much (interesting) to say. And on those rare occasionals when i get into msn, i could chat easily with people whom i most probably wouldnt even recognise them on the streets. It just seems that both of us can be "good friends" over the phone, but in reality, we just seems to be drifting very far apart. Sort of a double-life. Or a "地下情" that everything has to be done hush hush...or a 见不得光thing...or that one (or perhaps both) are ashamed or startled that we could / had been so close to each other... i really dont know why i get this kind of feeling...and it gets magnified when it comes to the opposite sex... I guess these type of atmosphere is created mutually...
One more day to go & I would be on the plane...And coincidentally (maybe not so)...she (this word is a noun, and whether its specific, its ..) is also flying off on that day. Yah...the 'she' is the topic of discussion in the earlier paragraph. Same airline, different timing, different destination.... I checked my hotel location and its 10 mins away from the MRT station (the travel agent recommend it, says its 5 mins, and thats why i choose this)..and the online reviews arent exactly good...Most Singaporeans criticize it, but others are okay with it....(actually i think criticism doesnt mean its bad...tonnes and tonnes of people criticize the packness of our MRT train, but i am quite okay with it...Not many people criticize the fact that people ALWAYS rushes in before commuters exit from the train ( this seems more rampant than our packed trains)..and this is one big gross why i sometimes refuses to take the train...So what is reality? Its just merely our interpretation of facts....
**Just thinking, would / does anyone know or can anyone guess who the 'she' i am referring to....oops...did i mention it in my previous blogs before???...
Friday, September 19, 2008
16th September 2008
The day I went to see the MO. The day I was temporary downgraded for a year. The next day, I was back at work.
On that night, I felt very isolated. It seems that I am the odd one out & that our directions are no longer the same. They were "congraduating" me of my new status, and marvelled the fact (no!!! Its perception...or rather, fallacy) of how "easy" it was for me to get out of it, without even asking me anything (Even if they asked me, I am sure they wouldnt understand what that medical condition really means). I dont blame them, its a normal response, especially so when the (only) motivation to continue being there is of getting out of there....
On that night, I felt very isolated. It seems that I am the odd one out & that our directions are no longer the same. They were "congraduating" me of my new status, and marvelled the fact (no!!! Its perception...or rather, fallacy) of how "easy" it was for me to get out of it, without even asking me anything (Even if they asked me, I am sure they wouldnt understand what that medical condition really means). I dont blame them, its a normal response, especially so when the (only) motivation to continue being there is of getting out of there....
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Lightning strikes twice???
When will I ever learn?? Thats a very big question which I thought I had an answer to (actually not really...but after nine months of pondering something, I should at least get some clues to an answer).. The first lightning strike (the nine months ago one) had created much fear and trepidation in me, which I till now I am still trying to come to terms with it. It took me some time to realise that the main concern is not "Whose fault it is?" or "Why did things turn out this way?", but rather "why did I care so much about a particular lightning strike when lightning sightings is such a common phenomenon?"
A colleague who's on relative good terms with me and "Snowman" commented that our conflict is a very small thing (compared to what others had to endure. According to him, she already treated me very kindly already). True enough. Its nothing more than a slight raise of voice (by both parties) & over-eagerness in solving situations, plus a difference in pirority and opinions, over the phone. I had experienced worse shouting matches with others, but somehow I feel its over as soon as the phone is put down. No hard feelings, no bin chao chao when we meet (or should I say, no "extra" bin chao chao..)
I havent had a chance to really talk to her after that incident. She did apologise to me by sms (I should add that she's not one to say sorry easily), and after another un-related conflict, I asked her if she's angry at what I had said, via sms. She didnt reply. Maybe I really think too much, or care too much about her reactions....Probably time will heal everything...I wouldnt see her for 3 weeks (she's in hong kong now & when she's back i will be in ICT)..i dont know if its a good thing or not...
Compared with others, my "friendship" with 'instant mee' and 'snowman' doesnt exactly have a starting point. I have no idea how we became close, its like all of a sudden we started to talk and then...we realise we can talk and communicate...and then...we can share our thoughts..and then...LIGHTNING STRIKES.....
A colleague who's on relative good terms with me and "Snowman" commented that our conflict is a very small thing (compared to what others had to endure. According to him, she already treated me very kindly already). True enough. Its nothing more than a slight raise of voice (by both parties) & over-eagerness in solving situations, plus a difference in pirority and opinions, over the phone. I had experienced worse shouting matches with others, but somehow I feel its over as soon as the phone is put down. No hard feelings, no bin chao chao when we meet (or should I say, no "extra" bin chao chao..)
I havent had a chance to really talk to her after that incident. She did apologise to me by sms (I should add that she's not one to say sorry easily), and after another un-related conflict, I asked her if she's angry at what I had said, via sms. She didnt reply. Maybe I really think too much, or care too much about her reactions....Probably time will heal everything...I wouldnt see her for 3 weeks (she's in hong kong now & when she's back i will be in ICT)..i dont know if its a good thing or not...
Compared with others, my "friendship" with 'instant mee' and 'snowman' doesnt exactly have a starting point. I have no idea how we became close, its like all of a sudden we started to talk and then...we realise we can talk and communicate...and then...we can share our thoughts..and then...LIGHTNING STRIKES.....
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
My bright red apple
In the space of one week, I had dinner with my jap 5 friends and my colleagues. Both yield different thoughts & feelings...but ultimately, they induce a thought-provoking question : How does my apple (now) compares with other bright red apples....(Maybe there is no basis for comparison at all)...
Dinner with Jap 5 people was over a steamboat, with "princess" & "rubbish bin" (among others) attending. Nothing much seems to have changed, just that my level of Japanese seems to be (no..its obviously) deteriorating drastically. "Princess" is still so pretty, "bitter gould" is still so bitter, "rubbish bin" is still so..well...i guess my nicknames for them are proven to be so apt...Really thanks a lot to "princess" who planned this outing by accomodating my confusing & erratic schedule...And everyone who turned up were obviously tired after working the whole week (except "baggy pants" who's enjoying himself these few months) but still took the trouble to come...But sadly..two person whom I really wanted to meet didnt turn up (actually its 3..but if she came, i think it might be quite awkward for her).."Rainie" pulled out at the last minute (so comforting that at least she still remembered my number), "instant mee" couldnt make it (according to "baggy pants")...Now i have been psycho-ing (i dont know if this word exists..but you get the meaning) "mercedez" to organise another outing..think he took the bait...haha..
Dinner with my colleagues was over a a-la-carte (is it pronounced as ah-la-card?) buffet at a hotel. Nice ambience (in sociology terms), but the food is not totally to my apetite. Still prefer steamboat or BBQ though..."Snowman", "fake sister", "brokeback mountain" (among others) were there too... I used to think that there's an invisible boundary restricting colleagues from becoming friends..be it due to conflict of interest or competition or office politics..(to me, it still exists)..But probably not between "Snowman", "Brokeback mountain" and me..why?...Maybe its because our interpretation of certain things / events are similar...Or perhaps our personality are quite similar....Or... I also dont know...
"Princess" commented that 'the best thing about her job is that everyone outside thinks that hers' a very good company'. I guess it holds for everyone. Because no one will know that a bright red apple is full of worms unless he/she takes a bite. (Probably i should add that no one cares about the worms unless he / she is forced to eat it)..The number of worms vary, according to many factors like preference, experience, adaptability and age..(maybe the older you become, the lesser worms you see..or the older you become...you are immune to the worms)... But nonetheless...every apple has their fair share of worms...at least my apple juice seems juicer than theirs i think....
Dinner with Jap 5 people was over a steamboat, with "princess" & "rubbish bin" (among others) attending. Nothing much seems to have changed, just that my level of Japanese seems to be (no..its obviously) deteriorating drastically. "Princess" is still so pretty, "bitter gould" is still so bitter, "rubbish bin" is still so..well...i guess my nicknames for them are proven to be so apt...Really thanks a lot to "princess" who planned this outing by accomodating my confusing & erratic schedule...And everyone who turned up were obviously tired after working the whole week (except "baggy pants" who's enjoying himself these few months) but still took the trouble to come...But sadly..two person whom I really wanted to meet didnt turn up (actually its 3..but if she came, i think it might be quite awkward for her).."Rainie" pulled out at the last minute (so comforting that at least she still remembered my number), "instant mee" couldnt make it (according to "baggy pants")...Now i have been psycho-ing (i dont know if this word exists..but you get the meaning) "mercedez" to organise another outing..think he took the bait...haha..
Dinner with my colleagues was over a a-la-carte (is it pronounced as ah-la-card?) buffet at a hotel. Nice ambience (in sociology terms), but the food is not totally to my apetite. Still prefer steamboat or BBQ though..."Snowman", "fake sister", "brokeback mountain" (among others) were there too... I used to think that there's an invisible boundary restricting colleagues from becoming friends..be it due to conflict of interest or competition or office politics..(to me, it still exists)..But probably not between "Snowman", "Brokeback mountain" and me..why?...Maybe its because our interpretation of certain things / events are similar...Or perhaps our personality are quite similar....Or... I also dont know...
"Princess" commented that 'the best thing about her job is that everyone outside thinks that hers' a very good company'. I guess it holds for everyone. Because no one will know that a bright red apple is full of worms unless he/she takes a bite. (Probably i should add that no one cares about the worms unless he / she is forced to eat it)..The number of worms vary, according to many factors like preference, experience, adaptability and age..(maybe the older you become, the lesser worms you see..or the older you become...you are immune to the worms)... But nonetheless...every apple has their fair share of worms...at least my apple juice seems juicer than theirs i think....
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