I received an unexpected call from 'strawberry' a few days back. And she proposed a meet-up the next day which i am also free. Its like so long that we havent meet up, & just all of a sudden we are going to meet the following day. The feeling is quite surreal..I had been visiting her blog ever since we left school and i thought she wanted to meet me to pass me her wedding invitation card. But she didnt. Nevertheless we had a good chat and i am looking forward to meeting her again.
Compared that with someone who has been asking me when i am free & after i told him my off days, he said would get back to me. But he NEVER. Sometimes i am wondering if he's real busy or that the sms is just a way of keeping in contact without any real aim or meaning. I should add that i appreciate him for taking the effort to try to arrange a meet-up though....
I know how hard and difficult it's to arrange a gathering. I asked 'Apple' out on her day off for 2 consecutive weeks and she told me that she's feeling too tired to go cycling. This I can understand. But this doesnt reduce any of my disappointment...
The 3 friends above whom i have mentioned, i really thought we got along very well, especially during various stages of my life. Hence i really cherish a lot of our friendship. But somehow, it seems that its possible that friendship can end peacefully...Something which i dont want to see, but i have no idea how to sustain the friendship...
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
The importance of communication...
I was on the bus just now and overheard a girl lamenting to her friend about how bad her boyfriend is...How he failed to catch her hints, how many times she has reminded him to take leave to go for an overseas trip, how much he likes gaming instead of going out with her, why he didnt bother to call her every now and then to show concern about her, why he always cancel dates and appointments with her at the last minute, why he didnt care about her feelings...And that all these problems are making her school work very depressing and tedious..not only affecting her mood and also her relationships with her friends as they have to bear with her temper....And her friend was quite quiet throughout, preferring to let the 'victim' vent her frustrations...
"Apple" taught me one very important thing. Guys always make this mistake of seeking their male friends opinions when they have doubts on how to handle a relationship with her girl. 'Why dont they just approach the girl's female friends, who knows more about her and can give better suggestions?' ...Maybe if that girl on that bus had confided in any male friend, she would have known what was wrong in that relationship. Or that probably, she is just finding an avenue to vent her frustrations and hoping that her friend (and me, unwittingly of course) would lend a ear....
Before i dropped off at Toa Payoh ( I was on Bus 151), I heard her admitting that she's 'emotionally high maintainence'...which brings to mind a friend who told me that she's 'financially low maintainence and emotionally high maintainence'..But this friend of mine has been happily attached to her boyfriend for 5 years and counting...I dont know how long this poor girl on the bus will last though...but maybe they arent suitable to be together at all...because obviously there is a big big communication problem between the two of them...
And thats why the importance of communication cannot be downplayed. I am still learning and trying to communicate effectively with people....but its never easy. Everybody has different personality, character and thinkings...its really a challenge...
"Apple" taught me one very important thing. Guys always make this mistake of seeking their male friends opinions when they have doubts on how to handle a relationship with her girl. 'Why dont they just approach the girl's female friends, who knows more about her and can give better suggestions?' ...Maybe if that girl on that bus had confided in any male friend, she would have known what was wrong in that relationship. Or that probably, she is just finding an avenue to vent her frustrations and hoping that her friend (and me, unwittingly of course) would lend a ear....
Before i dropped off at Toa Payoh ( I was on Bus 151), I heard her admitting that she's 'emotionally high maintainence'...which brings to mind a friend who told me that she's 'financially low maintainence and emotionally high maintainence'..But this friend of mine has been happily attached to her boyfriend for 5 years and counting...I dont know how long this poor girl on the bus will last though...but maybe they arent suitable to be together at all...because obviously there is a big big communication problem between the two of them...
And thats why the importance of communication cannot be downplayed. I am still learning and trying to communicate effectively with people....but its never easy. Everybody has different personality, character and thinkings...its really a challenge...
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
A dream...got loopholes....but does it mean anything?...
Last night, i had a dream. Surprisingly the storyline still remains very clear after i woke up. Here it goes...
I was at Ang Mo Kio with a JC friend (i had lost touch with him for a long long time) looking for the MRT station, intending to go to Somerset MRT . It was around 1 plus in the afternoon (I checked my watch at that time). I had asked a female colleague out for lunch at Wisma Atria, where we would meet at the MRT station at 2pm (not including the JC friend of course, me and her only). And then after, we would attend a meeting around the area at 3pm. So naturally, i was quite happy to meet her for lunch....But as time passes, my JC friend and i couldnt find the MRT station (This always happen in my dreams...i can never find places or reach destinations on time)..so i got rather panicky and called my colleague that i couldnt meet her for lunch and that we would meet again another day.... And then i woke up....
This storyline seems reasonable...but there's at least 4 loopholes...No 1. I dont store her phone number in my handphone, so how can i contact her? No 2. If i am going to meet her for lunch and also being very excited about it, then why am i still doing in Ang Mo Kio at 1 plus? No 3. If i am going to Wisma Atria with her, then why did I want to drop at Somerset instead of Orchard MRT?....No.4...She's my colleague, so its near-impossible that we would need to attend a meeting at Orchard together....
What does this dream reveal?...I have no idea...
I was at Ang Mo Kio with a JC friend (i had lost touch with him for a long long time) looking for the MRT station, intending to go to Somerset MRT . It was around 1 plus in the afternoon (I checked my watch at that time). I had asked a female colleague out for lunch at Wisma Atria, where we would meet at the MRT station at 2pm (not including the JC friend of course, me and her only). And then after, we would attend a meeting around the area at 3pm. So naturally, i was quite happy to meet her for lunch....But as time passes, my JC friend and i couldnt find the MRT station (This always happen in my dreams...i can never find places or reach destinations on time)..so i got rather panicky and called my colleague that i couldnt meet her for lunch and that we would meet again another day.... And then i woke up....
This storyline seems reasonable...but there's at least 4 loopholes...No 1. I dont store her phone number in my handphone, so how can i contact her? No 2. If i am going to meet her for lunch and also being very excited about it, then why am i still doing in Ang Mo Kio at 1 plus? No 3. If i am going to Wisma Atria with her, then why did I want to drop at Somerset instead of Orchard MRT?....No.4...She's my colleague, so its near-impossible that we would need to attend a meeting at Orchard together....
What does this dream reveal?...I have no idea...
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Hong Kong...Here i come...
40 mins more to boarding the plane. "Botak Teo" misplaced his passport after checking in the luggage....but luckily in the end still managed to find it...i am yearning for the dim sum, roasted geese as well as the seaf0od....think it would be a fun and enjoyable trip..
I did write her a letter...and i wrote half of what i thought i wanted to say...maybe half-hoping she can figure out what the other unwritten stuffs meant. I thought it was quite clear, but she called me and asked me 'what do i want to achieve by giving her the letter?' I think she could tell that i am avoiding to give her a direct reply. What really hurts me was that she said ' (we are only) colleagues are just to have a working relationship, if we can talk then we talk. Colleagues do not need to endure / accept your temper, unlike your friends'... Really, after knowing each other for one year plus, after we get from the mutual dislike of each other to being able to chat on the phone, and go out with others for dinner....we are just colleagues...and more so 'disposable' colleagues.... And i didnt do anything in front of her or to hurt her...i did lost my temper before, but its not in front of her....to condemn me because of one small error and to choose to ignore other things that i had done...i am really very disapointed and sad...
Looks like i made a good decision in going for the vacation...escaping from the harsh reality...
I did write her a letter...and i wrote half of what i thought i wanted to say...maybe half-hoping she can figure out what the other unwritten stuffs meant. I thought it was quite clear, but she called me and asked me 'what do i want to achieve by giving her the letter?' I think she could tell that i am avoiding to give her a direct reply. What really hurts me was that she said ' (we are only) colleagues are just to have a working relationship, if we can talk then we talk. Colleagues do not need to endure / accept your temper, unlike your friends'... Really, after knowing each other for one year plus, after we get from the mutual dislike of each other to being able to chat on the phone, and go out with others for dinner....we are just colleagues...and more so 'disposable' colleagues.... And i didnt do anything in front of her or to hurt her...i did lost my temper before, but its not in front of her....to condemn me because of one small error and to choose to ignore other things that i had done...i am really very disapointed and sad...
Looks like i made a good decision in going for the vacation...escaping from the harsh reality...
Friday, March 13, 2009
to say or not to say....
18 more days to go...there's something i badly wanted to ask...something i really wanted to say..something i desperately wanted to clarify...for what, i dont know....maybe just plain curiousity to make certain things clear, perhaps just to have a conclusion....if i say, got consequences; if i dont say, got regret...i am at a lost....
Friday, March 6, 2009
A big dilemma....to go or not to go.....
A colleague "botak teo" asked me if i want to go overseas for a short vacation where he can bring me around the area. The price, which includes the flight (normal airline) and a five-star hotel stay for 4 nights, is really very appealing and tempting. And actually i wanted to go this country last year, but i wasnt too sure of how to get around as the MRT doesnt go to all the places i want to go, so i choose Taipei instead....This time round, someone whom is interesting and whom i can communicate well with and knows the place well can bring me around.....but the catch is that the package offer lasts only till the end of this month, and he intended to leave around 2 weeks plus..which somehow seems a bit rushing for me... I had checked with my superior and my parents, whom gave me the green light to go if i want to...And to me thats a difficult question to answer..
Some of the stuffs to ponder....To me, 3 weeks is more than enough to prepare myself for a trip. I planned one month in advance for the Taipei trip and for Bangkok is roughly about 3 weeks plus...Someone would be covering my work....(she might be grumbling about this though)....and there's a big uncertainty if she would be posted out soon...(i dont know if i hope for her to be posted out... sometimes yes, sometimes no... i do hope for someone else to post out asap though..)..Expenditure wise should be okay...And i really need a break..i am very tried about certain things in my workplace (the relationships are less complicated in the past, and that we wouldnt go to work the next day to realise that people are falling out with one another because of certain mis-understandings and the worst thing is that it cannot be mended (i guess in some aspect i contributed to this as well)....i told "snowman" before..i am very afraid that me & her would fall out...)...And there's nothing better than to go overseas for a vacation...
I have to give a reply to 'botak teo' by tomorrow...i think i already have a decision...its just that i need some courage to ascertain that my decision is the right one....
Some of the stuffs to ponder....To me, 3 weeks is more than enough to prepare myself for a trip. I planned one month in advance for the Taipei trip and for Bangkok is roughly about 3 weeks plus...Someone would be covering my work....(she might be grumbling about this though)....and there's a big uncertainty if she would be posted out soon...(i dont know if i hope for her to be posted out... sometimes yes, sometimes no... i do hope for someone else to post out asap though..)..Expenditure wise should be okay...And i really need a break..i am very tried about certain things in my workplace (the relationships are less complicated in the past, and that we wouldnt go to work the next day to realise that people are falling out with one another because of certain mis-understandings and the worst thing is that it cannot be mended (i guess in some aspect i contributed to this as well)....i told "snowman" before..i am very afraid that me & her would fall out...)...And there's nothing better than to go overseas for a vacation...
I have to give a reply to 'botak teo' by tomorrow...i think i already have a decision...its just that i need some courage to ascertain that my decision is the right one....
Friday, February 13, 2009
Anniversary Night
“暧昧让人受尽委屈，找不到相爱的证据，何时该前进，何时该放弃，连拥抱都没有勇气”...This is the song which got the Karaoke champion....
Yesterday was the anniversary night of my company which was held in a multi-purpose hall, which i find most fun & though provoking was the karaoke competition. Maybe to some people, the whole event seems to be quite boring & a waste of time, but not to me. I am glad that i attended it....because you will only enjoy it if and only if you allow yourself to enjoy it.
Initially the signing-up of the karaoke competition was quite lukewarm, to the extent that the organisers have to resort to arrowing people for it. At the end of it, i realised that its not that they cant sing, its just that they think that they have no courage to sing in front of an audience...
After the event ended, we were told that we have 30 mins more to sing before the contractors keep the barang barang... and at that time, there wasnt many of us left. So when someone got started to sing, the song request keeps coming....and i am sure those who stayed behind really enjoyed the 30 mins...
Those words of encouragement which i said to my colleague to calm her nerves before her turn to sing really got me thinking. How is it that i can encourage people so easily but not myself? Why is it that i still dont have the courage to do certain things even though i know its not that difficult a task?...And that it doesnt matter what the outcome would be, because you already succeed as long as you are willing to give it a try...And i am not just referring to the karaoke competition...I am referring to my greatest fear, which this thing to many people its so natural, so easy, so enjoyable...but to me this fear keeps lingering...maybe i really complicate matters by thinking too much...
"Northeast Line": You still owe me a "为你我受冷风吹"...haha..
Yesterday was the anniversary night of my company which was held in a multi-purpose hall, which i find most fun & though provoking was the karaoke competition. Maybe to some people, the whole event seems to be quite boring & a waste of time, but not to me. I am glad that i attended it....because you will only enjoy it if and only if you allow yourself to enjoy it.
Initially the signing-up of the karaoke competition was quite lukewarm, to the extent that the organisers have to resort to arrowing people for it. At the end of it, i realised that its not that they cant sing, its just that they think that they have no courage to sing in front of an audience...
After the event ended, we were told that we have 30 mins more to sing before the contractors keep the barang barang... and at that time, there wasnt many of us left. So when someone got started to sing, the song request keeps coming....and i am sure those who stayed behind really enjoyed the 30 mins...
Those words of encouragement which i said to my colleague to calm her nerves before her turn to sing really got me thinking. How is it that i can encourage people so easily but not myself? Why is it that i still dont have the courage to do certain things even though i know its not that difficult a task?...And that it doesnt matter what the outcome would be, because you already succeed as long as you are willing to give it a try...And i am not just referring to the karaoke competition...I am referring to my greatest fear, which this thing to many people its so natural, so easy, so enjoyable...but to me this fear keeps lingering...maybe i really complicate matters by thinking too much...
"Northeast Line": You still owe me a "为你我受冷风吹"...haha..
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